What Books Do You Find Most Attractive In A Partner?

Is there a certain book that your future partner must love or cannot love? Would it be a deal breaker to you?

Finding out about someone’s book preferences is essentially a proxy for their intelligence and interests, so it doesn’t surprise me people take the question ‘What are your favourite books?’ so seriously on dating web sites.

They had an article on it in ‘ The Guardian‘ and some of the results were surprising. 

  • Like more women found reading to be an attractive hobby in men than men liked a woman reading. Which is so misogynistic that I had to put my phone down and look away for a bit to recover.
  • There were some interesting thoughts on the hypocrisy of so-called “feminist men” who never read a book written by a woman. And I agree, any man who claimed to be a feminist but read books where women were an accessory and not a critical force in the story was someone to watch out for.
  • Of course Harry Potter came up as a deal breaker (both as a lover and a hater). If Harry Potter didn’t come up, I wouldn’t have taken the results seriously.
  • Can we also stop referencing ‘Twilight’ and ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ please? Men didn’t like it if women liked either of those books which was a huge surprise, so shocking. I am honestly so bored with the analytical pieces highlighting the sexism in these books, we get it now.

But this quote from Paul Farrell, sums up just how important reading, or hobbies, in general should be in a partner:

But it’s best not to be too snobby about it. It’s a strange thing that we place so much romantic stock in the shared love of a pastime that is really such a solitary activity. 

I wrote about this in an earlier post. Like it’s nice for my partner to like reading but it’s not a necessity; I just hope he understands and appreciates my love of reading. I don’t care what he reads, but I hope he’s got a varied interest.

Because if people get too hung up on certain books, it starts to feel pretentious. A friend insisted his perfect woman would love Les Miserablé and Anna Karenina as much as he did, which was impressive but a little eye-roll inducing after the eighth time.

To be fair, I’d be a little nervous if he was too into ‘American Psycho’ or if he thought that ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ was the modern day rock star, but all in all, I’m not as hung up about book preferences as I would be had you asked me five years ago.

Do you have any preferences? Firstly, does your partner need to love reading, and secondly what books do they need to love or cannot love?


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